The trifecta of break-out hits for this season looks like this: ABC-Ugly Betty, CBS-Jericho, NBC-Heroes.

As an aspiring TV writer, I feel that it’s part of my “job” to be abreast of new programs, and especially the ones that are doing well. So it is that I have made an effort to watch the first several episodes of each of these shows. Unfortunately, watching them has taken just that—an effort. While America Ferrera shines, Ugly Bettyoffers all the edgy sophistication of an Archie comic. Meanwhile, Jericho does little more than reflect current American xenophobia in Lost rip-off form.

But it is in Heroes that I am most disappointed.

I’ve always considered myself to be of borderline dorkiness. I don’t own any Lord of the Rings memorabilia, and I have never attended any conventions in costume. (Unless you count the denim shirt and khaki pants dot-com days.) Still, my childhood basement hosted more than one weekend D&D marathon, and I do know the words to the Red Dwarf theme song. I am a fan of sci-fi. So I couldn’t help but be cautiously optimistic at the promise of prime-time, mainstream, high-production-value science fiction programming. Maybe Heroes would offer that feature so rare in the genre… Quality.

For an episode or two, I was intrigued. The characters seemed to have powers that unlike ones I’d seen before. (Oops… I said “powers.” The creative staff has been careful not to use that word, to avoid the geek factor of a comic book.) Discovery of characters’ ABILITIES in early episodes was expertly written. However, the series lost momentum fast as more and more heroes were introduced, each less original, and nothing seemed to actually happen It didn’t take long until it all felt derivative. To make matters worse, the show lacks the important element of good sci-fi: metaphor.

A good episode of Star Trek: the Next Generation explores national societal issues or international relations in a way that plain-old debate cannot. Buffy the Vampire Slayer quite often fought a literal demon who symbolized her figurative ones. And there’s a reason that the new Battlestar Galactica starts with a people being attacked on their homeland.Unfortunately,Heroes comes up smelling like X-men, except without that franchise’s metaphorical examination of prejudice. (And, sadly, without its character development or action.)

Still, I firmly believe that shows need time to find their legs. ST:TNG had a couple of early episodes stolen from its predecessor, and BtVS’s first season episode list reads like the bill at a B-movie creature feature festival. So I gave Heroes until this last episode, when the commercials promised me that all would be revealed and characters would learn their destiny. “Save the cheerleader, save the world,” some announcer promised in a whisper.

Without writing any spoilers, let me just say that jack squat was revealed. None of the characters learned diddly about his or her destiny.

After nine episodes, I’m afraid here is another show trying to copy Lost’s serialized mysterious endings, to poor effect. And let’s face it. Not even Lost is good at Lost’s serialized mysterious endings.

Meanwhile, don’t get me started on why we needed to save a cheerleader who is, after all, IMMUNE TO DYING!