Yesterday an acquaintance was trading schedules with me, and he suggested we get together, “after the Holiday.”

It has, for some reason, become a real peeve of mine over the last couple of years when people refer to Christmas as “the Holiday.” No, I’m not offended as a Christian. I thought the “War on Christmas” bunk tossed about last year by right-wing talk shows was some of the most obnoxious use of airwaves in a long while. (Although I’m glad to hear that liberals finally get their own war on an abstract concept. Even if it was the Right who declared it for them.) Meanwhile, I certainly think it appropriate that all well-wishing messages this time of year go out with “Season’s Greetings” or “Happy Holidays.” Clearly, one never knows if one’s general audience celebrates Christmas or Hanukkah or Solstice or Festivus. Or nothing. The level of respect afforded by not wishing “Merry Christmas” to every stranger is important in this land of ours.

Nope, it’s the WRITER in me who is bothered by “the Holiday.” Shorter is better, I’ve been taught. Find the exact word that means what you want to say, and use it to replace as many words as possible. So, “the Holidays” is great, but “the Holiday” is just unspecific. The person making plans with me celebrates Christmas, and has known me long enough to know that I celebrate Christmas. But even if neither of us did, the reason we won’t be meeting on Monday isn’t “the Holidays,” meaning the nebulous period from sorta the beginning of Hanukkah till just after the Super Bowl where we all pretend we cannot be asked to do any work. It was because Monday is Christmas.

At the local branch of my public library, the sign reads, “We will be closed December 24th and December 25th in observation of the Holidays.” Hmmm… So you need those two days off for Ramadan and Flag Day, do you? Somewhere along the line, Strunk & White convinced me that, “We will not be open on December 25th due to the socio-religious significance, for some, of the holiday celebrated on those dates, ” can best be expressed, “Closed on Christmas.”

Succinct word use? It’s all I want for Christmas.

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