I was out this weekend with a small group.  One of our number is a producer for a straight-to-DVD production company.  Upon learning that I am a writer, he enthusiastically invited me to give him a call some time, as his group needed writers, and they had several projects they wanted to make happen.

OK, I thought.  Finally a break from knowing someone who knows someone.  To prepare myself for a meeting with this fellow, I consulted with some friends who had written or been offered similar deals: non-union writing on assignment for a project that producers never intend for screen distribution.  The consensus was that if the movie budget is about $1 million, the writer could expect about $20K.

This is not an amazing amount of money for writing a quality screenplay, but neither is it pocket change.  In my head, I was already imagining paying some bills, and finally buying a car in which my friends aren’t embarrassed and/or scared to ride.

I called today to follow up and set a time for me to come to the producer’s office, as he had suggested.

“I want to have you come write a movie for us,” he said.

(I’ll get a car stereo that connects to your mp3 player, I thought.)

“As long as you’re comfortable writing for credit only.”

At this point in the story, I need you to imagine the sound of brakes slamming, and tires screeching.

I scan craigslist fairly often for writing opportunities.  There is only one thing worse than the steady stream of posts from people who have a fantastic idea and just need someone with writing skills to make it happen, and I know this is going to be huge, and there’s no money now, but I’ll give you a split of the dough once the script makes it big!  The only thing worse than these posts is the rants from writers posting about the original posts.  So it is not my intention to go on and on about how there is no project without a script, blah, blah, blah.

However, this was a company that has put projects out there.  That has a web page claiming that they make a dozen low-budget movies a year.  Still, the offer wasn’t a $1 option and some share of profits.  It was… actually… nothing.

Come on.  I can write MY projects for nothing.

Sigh.  I guess the car improvement for a while will have to be one of those tree air fresheners.

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