The cost of living in Los Angeles is nuts. Seattle can be expensive (and was especially so back in the dot-com boom), but L.A. is a whole new league. It is for this reason that people as old as me still have housemates. And heaven forbid your tank hits empty while you’re in Beverly Hills, where gas seems to cost an extra fifty cents a gallon just to keep the riff-raff out.

Fortunately, there is a secret. My officemate took me under wing when I first moved here, and gave me valuable insight. If you are considering moving to L.A. (and I know for a fact that some of you are) then by all means, heed his words of wisdom:

99-cent stores. For groceries.

He said it had something to do with shipments to Mexico coming back, or something. Don’t know, don’t care. Cheap stuff.

Some folks are put off by off-brand merchandise, but the fact is that about half of what is sold in L.A. 99-cent stores is the exact same stuff from other stores. You won’t find Crest or Colgate, but you will find Aim and Aqua-fresh. And, unlike at the grocery store, this merchandise has the advantage of costing only 99 cents.

For that matter, do you really care what the brand name is on your paper towels? Your garbage bags? Your shampoo*? Not if you want to be a struggling artist living in L.A. you don’t. And avocados come from the same ground, whether you pay three times as much or not. You’ll still have to shop at Von’s and Ralph’s, but go to the 99 Cents Only store first. Sure, that guy with the mustache smells really bad. And yes, those college students are going to kill themselves if they drink all those 49 cent 2-liters of soda. But I like to think 99-cent stores are what Hemingway would have done. So he could afford gin.

*OK, maybe some of you care what name you use for shampoo. I wouldn’t know, as I haven’t needed any since 2001. Bald is beautiful. Rock on.

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