Stuff that pissed me off this week.
August 24th, 2007 by screenwriterguy
Continued depravity from reality TV: I’m not a snob. But if you watch reality television–any reality television at all–I won’t be your friend. While this may seem like snobbery, it is actually a reasonable concern for our nation’s wellbeing. After all, reality television grows closer and closer to destroying the fabric of western society with each passing month. I’ve warned before that we’re in danger of seeing Running Man get greenlit. Meanwhile, this week we get news that parents are upset about a contract CBS made them sign before their 8- to 15-year-old children participated in a show called Kid Nation. The idea behind the show is that 40 kids are dropped in a New Mexico ghost town and made to fashion their own society. Folks are concerned, and CBS denies, that the production violated child labor laws. Plus, some find it strange that the contract included a clause about how parents can’t sue if any of the kids catch STDs. What concerns me is that everyone is so concerned about the legal details, and no one has stopped to ponder the morality of turning Lord of the Freakin’ Flies into prime time entertainment! We all remember how things turned out for Piggy and Ralph in the novel, right? I’ve got the conch, and I want more comedy programming.
Wrist slaps for drunk-driving celebs: I try to pay attention to (and, subsequently, blog about) only industry news, not celebrity gossip. But some stories are so pervasive as to be unavoidable. I’m probably biased, as the only funeral I’ve ever attended in my life was for a cousin and her baby girl who were killed by drunk drivers, but I can’t help finding it ridiculous that a parade of celebs are seeing the tiniest of consequences for DUI charges. I subscribe to IMDB’s Movie/TV News feed. Currently, the TOP THREE headlines are “Lohan To Serve One Day in Jail,” “Richie Free After 80 Minutes in Jail,” and “Gibson Praised in DUI Hearing.” After getting pulled over with a .12 BAL and an open bottle of tequila, (then hurling insults like he was Farfour the Mouse) Gibson got probation and AA. Now he’s getting free press for doing better, and will star in two movies coming out next year. Meanwhile, Miss Lindsay was arrested for drunk driving AND cocaine possession–TWICE–and she gets 24 hours in jail. That’s some gooooooooood lawyerin’.
Reason #364 that Michael Bay is an enormous tool: If you don’t recognize Michael Bay’s name, know that he’s the guy who directed the cinematic masterpieces Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, The Island, and this summer’s crap-fest Transformers. He’s also produces his films; extra money in his pockets is the reason behind the gratuitous product placement in The Island, and it’s why Bumblebee transformed into a 2009 Camaro instead of a bug. Earlier this week, Paramount announced that it will be releasing its movies only in HD DVD, not Blue-Ray. Bay immediately posts to the internet that he thinks this is really lame, and there’s no way he’ll direct Transformers 2 for them. (Good, I think. Maybe it won’t suck now.) But then he has a call with some higher-ups at Paramount. It should be noted that Paramount got tens of millions in incentives to shut out Blue-Ray, and Dreamworks Animation (the last part of Dreamworks not owned by Paramount) got tens of millions more. After he’s spoken to, later the same day, Bay takes back everything he said earlier about wanting audiences to have access to movies in whatever formats they choose. Hmmm… I wonder what happened in that phone call?
More dredging of the 80s: Speaking of Transformers, the resurrection of 80s franchises doesn’t stop. We’ve got He-Man, and Voltron even Thundercats moving forward to live-action remakes. Variety reported today that Dallas (at least it’s a spoof) has a new director, as does G.I. Joe. Doesn’t anyone remember how shallow and without consequences all of our entertainment was in the 80s? Did anyone ever think, even for a moment, if Murdock and B.A. ran through a spray of machine gun fire that someone might suffer a scratch? Does no one remember just how many sitcoms used some obnoxious “He’s all tied up right now” pun? (See, the person thought it was an idiom meaning he was busy, but he was LITERALLY tied up! Ha! Willy!) I only barely liked the 80s during the 80s.
Time-Warner cable: Our DVR doesn’t work. I stayed home to meet the cable guy, who missed our appointment window. It turned out they didn’t have a DVR at the time, so they gave us a box without one. They didn’t tell us that it had no DVR functionality. Once we got one, it didn’t work. When I called and complained, we got three free months of HBO. After those three months, instead of turning it off, they started charging us for HBO. Now the DVR just isn’t working. I really wanted to catch tonight’s Daily Show. They’ve had John McCaine and Barak Obama this week, plus Rob Riggle live from Iraq. But when I try to watch tonight’s recording, I get a black screen. I reeeeeeally don’t want to spend more hours on the phone with their customer “service.” Please, government, please subject cable television to free market forces. Please?
Also, Ryan Seacrest is going to host the Emmys. Lame.
OK, next post will be positive and happy. Promise.
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Posted in Entertainment Industry | 1 Comment »
Aug 30th 2007 at 6:29 pm
Why are you so down on reality TV? It sucks, yes, but so do most of the sitcoms out there. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that it even has a better percentage of hits vs. flops than scripted TV?
I’m as much of a snob as the next guy, but I watched a season or two of The Apprentice, I like Kathy Griffin’s D-List Show and I’m embarrassed to say I’m hooked on Top Chef.
But, in support, Transformers kinda sucked beyond beyond…