If the opening minutes of The Bionic Woman are some of the best I’ve seen in a while, the opening minutes of Moonlight are the worst. Scene one: a contrived “interview” giving us the vampire rules in this world. (The interview device is never used again.) Scene two: the vampire in his world, all slathered in voice over. And then scene three, just so every clunky exposition technique possible has been used before a regular scene occurs, a news reporter feeds us recent events.

But not everyone is a writer, offended by overuse of trite storytelling techniques. And sci-fi fans are not renowned for their appreciation of dialogue. And it’s hard to put your finger on anything truly bad about the show. Still, it’s even harder to find anything truly good. Moonlight brims with schlocky lines and clichés, with a script like that first draft you don’t show to anyone. Alex O’Loulghlin fails to deliver more than a pretty face. There was much press on this show about creative differences, recasting, and reworking. In the end, they didn’t get it right.

Angel this is not. I’m done.

Best Aspect: Jason Dohring. Though probably I’m just longing for more Veronica Mars.

Worst Aspect: Blood is the bleeding blood of sex blood blood.

Verdict: I shan’t watch this again.

Odds of success: With Ghost Whisperer as a lead-in, and a Friday night time slot, this show may find enough dateless sci-fi fans to justify its existence. But that would be unjust

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