My sketch comedy writers group is down a writer. The new person we brought in, who was great and definitely contributed a sketch I plan for us to shoot, decided to do the whole change-of-job, plan-your-wedding path. So I’m once again seeking an elite-level comedy writer who will work for free. And, ideally, has a vagina. We are left with four men and one woman, and I would sure rather have slot #6 be reserved for a female, so we don’t become 5-to-1.

The only thing is, ads looking only for female writers are always creepy. They contain something about wanting a woman’s perspective on the writing, but always come off reading like a singles ad about how we’ll get together for coffee, try writing some dialogue together, and see if we have chemistry. I fear for the women who respond to them. Only thing is, female perspective can be important, and it really IS the reason I’m trying to find a woman to join our writers meeting. Oh well. Time to publish another slightly creepy ad, I guess.

I tried to be a little creative this time:

————

Dear god of sketch comedy writers,

Please, o overseer of all those witty in wordplay, send one more truly funny short-form writer to join our circle.

This new writer should be available for our writing team meetings on Fridays at 2 in Culver City. She should be available every other Sunday evening for our meetings of our overall production group. She should play well with others and be interested in seeing her writing strengthened through thine commandments: collaboration, feedback, and rewriting. She should be wise in the ways of the beginning-middle-and-end. She should be able to establish characters, make with the funny, and cap it with a sharp button, usually in four pages or less. She should hope to see her material delivered to the internet at BrevityTV.com.

She should understand that this is an UNPAID project, in which all participants are volunteers, less driven by money than by exposure and the opportunity to pioneer media delivery to the internet.

And, as if this were not enough to ask, god of sketch comedy writers, she should be a SHE. For we are sufficient in the ways of the white boy (and one Asian girl…) and it is additional feminine perspectives we lack. Please send forth this brilliant new writer to fill the recently empty chair at our table, and we shall sacrifice unto you many a skittle and corn chip.

When you locate her, o god of sketch comedy writers, please have her reply with an introduction of herself and a description of why she should be the Chosen One, so that we may reply to her with a questionnaire, and so that it might be good.

Thus endeth the craigslist ad.

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