June 25th, 2008 by screenwriterguy
I’m not one to get worked up over the semantics of language.
I have a friend whose pet peeve is people saying, “ATM machine.” After all, he points out, the ‘M’ already stands for ‘machine.’ You’re effectively calling it an Automatic Teller Machine Machine. (It doesn’t help that people use PIN numbers to access their ATM machines.)
Another friend appreciates the fact that my voice message says, “Hi, you’ve reached screenwriterguy’s voice mail. Leave a message.” I do NOT say you’ve reached screenwiterguy, because you haven’t. I say you’ve reached his voice mail. (Meanwhile, as a society, when are we all finally going to stop leaving instructions for how to leave a message? “Please leave your name, the time you called, the best time to get back to you…” Aagh!)
I didn’t think I was as anal as either of these guys, but lately I’ve had some real sand under the eyelid over use of the word, “blog.”
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June 23rd, 2008 by screenwriterguy
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June 17th, 2008 by screenwriterguy
On the TV show Futurama, the main character Fry often eats a product called “Bachelor Chow.” One assumes this is a play on Dog Chow. While this is, of course, a joke, and one somewhat pejorative of the bachelor lifestyle, I can’t help see the allure. A housemate and I have commented many times that we’d happily consume tons of bachelor chow if it existed. An inexpensive foodstuff that takes little or no time to prepare? Sign me up. It doesn’t have to taste incredible, and I don’t care if it comes in a box, as long as it’s fast and cheap.
Well, I believe I’ve found the closest thing there is to the real thing. It’s called tofu steak. Currently it costs $1.25 per… well, per brick. Now, if you don’t like tofu, odds are it’s because of the slimy texture or the complete lack of flavor. But these guys have solved that. First, it’s the firmest tofu there is. Secondly–and here’s the real genius of it–they put pepper in it. There might be other spices, but it pretty much breaks down to pepper. So what I do is cut it into strips, toast them in the toaster oven, and eat them with mustard. Prep time is about thirty seconds, cooking time about ten minutes, no real oven involved. Plus, only 60-some cents worth of food required to fill me up. Hurray for the future. |
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June 15th, 2008 by screenwriterguy
So a group of friends and I go last night to the premiere of the new M. Knight Shyamalan movie, The Happening. In my mind, each of his movies has been successively less worthy than the last, but I figured he hit rock bottom with Lady in the Water, so how bad could it be, right? Plus, the trailers looked pretty cool.
At last the trailers end, but the projectionist has cued up the wrong movie. Empire State Building, sure, the movie starts in New York, but instead of the suspenseful music we’re expecting, we’re greeted by a familiar, stylized Latin rhythm…
They’re playing the Sex and the City movie instead. Normally, no big deal, they fix the movie and order is restored, and all I’ve lost is ten minutes of my life. Hell, I can make ten minutes go away surfing back and forth between a few informercials. However, I don’t want to see the Sex and the City movie, because I haven’t watched the series yet. And what is the first ten minutes of the movie? Backstory from the series! My best la-la-la-la fingers-in-ears couldn’t sufficiently keep the dolby surround from revealing that someone decided to be Jewish and marry a bald guy, and somebody has the man she’s been chasing show up in a limo. Booooo.
By the way, The Happening was weak. It’s time for M. Knight to focus on his directing, because his writing is going to ruin his chances of making any more movies.
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